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The Internet Is Perplexed About The Budgets On 'House Hunters'

HGTV, you are selling us a LIE.

The Internet Is Perplexed About The Budgets On 'House Hunters'

Picture this: You’re on your couch, pants-less, shoving Gushers in your face while watching hour five of “House Hunters.” Suddenly, you’re screaming at the TV:

“You want a chef’s kitchen, four bedrooms, a sauna, a gift-wrap room AND a 5-car garage, Susan?! For that budget?! PUT DOWN THE CRACK PIPE.”

HGTV’s “House Hunters” is a ride.

If you, an uneducated person, have never watched “House Hunters,” the show takes viewers on the wondrous journey of following individuals, couples, or families on the search for a new home.

They set a budget, tell viewers their must-haves (Three bedrooms! A patio! Counter space! No ghosts!), and a real estate agent shows them three houses, from which they eventually choose one for their happily ever after. But some of those budgets seem, well, a little unrealistic considering the jobs that some people on “House Hunters” have.

Twitter seems to agree and thus has meme-ified the “House Hunters” guests. The format looks like this:

[House Hunters format]

Husband: I'm a (something insignificant)

Wife: And I (something silly)

Husband: Our budget is (ridiculous number)

— Mischievous Mike (@mstern68) April 20, 2017

Please enjoy the following Twitter/”House Hunters”-inspired gold:

[House Hunters episode]

HUSBAND: I'm a freelance hamster trainer

WIFE: And I tune harmonicas part-time

HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 19, 2017

@ValeeGrrl [House Hunters episode]

HUSBAND: I'm a part time Ranch Dressing inspector

WIFE: And I spend money

HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K

— JerryAscione (@JerryAscione) April 20, 2017

[House Hunters episode]

HUSBAND: "I am a used aquarium consultant"

WIFE: "And I am my town's crier"

HUSBAND: Our budget is $875k

— WalterBlakeKnoblock (@WBKnoblock) April 20, 2017

People on house hunters: we need 14 bedrooms, 9 baths, private multiplex cinema & 17 acres of land. Our budget is $12.44 & a paperclip.

— Chloe (@Marmite___) April 19, 2017

House Hunters:
"We are looking for a modern turn key house in the city. Our budget is 1.2M"
*picks a rustic 2.9M fixerupper by the ocean*

— Tanya Tara (@tanya_aroraa) April 19, 2017

[House Hunters episode]

HUSBAND: I'm a sandwich artist.

WIFE: And I have a blog about meat and beer.

HUSBAND: Our budget is $875K

— Billy J. Smith (@thatbillysmith) April 20, 2017

On the next House Hunters...

Wife: I'm a retired pumpkin carver.
Husband: I was her assistant.

Budget: $2.3M

— Andy McDonald (@iamandymcdonald) April 20, 2017

On the next House Hunters...
HIM: I paint watercolors of dead possums.
HER: I'm a stay-at-home harpsichord teacher.
Our budget is $923,000.

— Tom Bradley Jr. 📚 (@TBradleywrites) April 20, 2017

[House Hunters episode]

HUSBAND: "I sell used 8-track tapes"

WIFE: "And I hang potatoes in people's garages"

HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K

— Josh M (@JG_KB24fan) April 20, 2017

[House Hunters episode]
Husband: I restring toy ukulele's.
Wife: and I volunteer at the blind dog shelter.
Both: our budget is 900k

— Lady Kryptonite (@that_weirdchick) April 20, 2017

House Hunters intro...

HIM: I'm a hat critic for a blog.

HER: I found a cigar box containing 2 gold coins.

HIM: Our budget is $1.4m

— Jeremy Gibbens (@afterglide) April 20, 2017

[House Hunters]

HUSBAND: I'm an office manager

WIFE: And I'm a dentist

HUSBAND: Our budget is $250k bc we like to live within our means

— Buh-lah-kay (@hiblake92) April 20, 2017

[House Hunters]

Husband: I'm a simple mortal human

Wife: And I'm a copy of Wario Ware Shake It

Husband: Our budget is 7 trillion dollars

— Geeky Steven (@geekysteven) April 20, 2017

[House Hunters Episode]

Man: I eat burgers for a living

Woman: I take pictures of my Husband

Man: Our budget is 4.76 million

— Aregano (@asafari20) April 20, 2017

Sorry, “House Hunters” is on ― see you guys never!!