John Mulaney followed through on his promise to fight a pack of teenage boys during the season finale of “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney” on Wednesday.
After weeks of inviting implausibly open-minded guardians to let their teens tussle with him, Netflix’s first-and-only live talk show host saw his deranged bit come to life.
The comic, 42, confirmed the scrap was actually happening during his opening monologue, telling audiences, “I will fight three 14-year-olds in a fight to the death, reputationally speaking.”
Addressing his hecklers, Mulaney also said, “All you at home, all you’ve done is talk, talk, talk. It’s time to end the smack talk, end the conjecture and settle this, man-to-boy.”
To prep for the battle royale, the stand-up said he spent weeks training and even more time having Netflix’s lawyers determine if man-versus-minor showdowns could even be legal.
(Surprisingly, such intergenerational sparring is kosher in California, but only with a guardian’s consent.)
As the jokester and juveniles hopped into the ring, their referee laid out the rules: no punching, no kicking, no blood or biting ... and most importantly, no title for the first fighter to tap out.
Although Mulaney succeeded in setting up his stunt, his performance on the mat was an indisputable failure.
His scrappy trio of adolescent opponents, menacingly dubbed the “Truant Teens,” wasted no time jumping the comedian, gracelessly grappling his lanky frame and dragging him to the ground before he swiftly surrendered ― all as guests Adam Sandler, Sean Penn and Joe Mande watched with announcer Richard Kind.
The entire bout lasted just 47 ludicrous seconds.
Making the spectacle all the more surreal, ’90s R&B outfit Bone Thugs-N-Harmony then strutted into the studio to bestow the boys with championship belts.
Mulaney shared how the scheme started in an earlier episode of “Everybody’s Live,” explaining how his writers were inspired by the unhinged 100 men versus one gorilla debate that overwhelmed social media feeds about a month ago.
Swipe through the post below to witness the mayhem of Mulaney’s face-off with the teen trio: