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The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

“My new ob/gyn intake form doesn’t have anywhere to mention my hysterectomy, so I’m gonna act just as surprised when she can’t find it.”

WestNet News wire September 25, 2026 Source: HuffPost

The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

The ladies of the internet never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit.

Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets, threads and other posts from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

women will say “sorry my room is messy” and it could genuinely be anywhere from spotless to uninhabitable
— Robin 🐛 (@Undue_Risk) September 22, 2026

men used to give up when you told them about your fake boyfriend now they ask you how long you’ve been together and why you don’t have a ring yet… like why are you making me feel insecure about my fake boyfriend not wanting to marry me
— heather (@benz0beauty) September 21, 2026

I wonder if there are any 17 year old white boys who got named barack in the heat of the moment
— natalie (@nataliestwt) September 20, 2026

why are you guys limiting yourselves to just iced coffee, I personally never show up to a job interview without one of these bad boys to assert dominance pic.twitter.com/RHMBc8tsez
— julie 🥽🧪🧵 (@CasquetteGirl) September 21, 2026

carolinewarnes/Threads

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feministabulous/Threads

it's always so funny when people are trying to sell their used couch for $1500 on fb marketplace. a couch on fb marketplace costs $200. they're always like "i paid $4000 for this couch." not my problem man. should have bought it on fb marketplace, where a couch costs $200
— lily (@lil_mermaid) September 23, 2026

last night i filled a form to sign up for cat adoption. for gender i wrote “any” and for age i wrote “1”

i now realized they were asking for MY gender and age
— avy (@avycadotoast) September 24, 2026

fun part of moving is discovering I own every item! every single item. if it’s an item a person can own, I own it. so I don’t need a job anymore! jobs give you money to buy items and I already own, as I stated, every single item
— katie (@katefeetie) September 24, 2026

i love being an auntie but i have to say i spent 6+ hours with these kids yesterday while their mom recovers from surgery and at one point it felt like i was hearing every noise ever made in the history of time all at once
— 🌸🌺🌼🌹 (@mcarv_s) September 20, 2026

lately i’ve been doing what i like to call evil CBT where i look in the mirror and say things like “you're not special enough to be the ugliest person in the world” and it works better than the regular kind for me honestly
— chatpile roan (@chatpileroan) September 21, 2026

You live in Texas? With the chainsaw massacres?
— Case (@Cactuscali19912) September 23, 2026

I'm rich enough that I didn't ask the price of a loaf of bread at a farm stand and accidentally bought an $18(!!!) loaf of sourdough but not so rich that I haven't stopped thinking about it for the past 24 hours.
— Karol Markowicz (@karol) September 20, 2026

Yom Kippur just doesn’t hit the same when you’re on a GLP-1
— Daniella Greenbaum Davis (@DGreenbaum) September 20, 2026

in elementary school there was a boy in my class named Ian and a girl named Killian and no matter where she was sitting Ian was always across the room looking at her like this pic.twitter.com/5szhhlPshz
— alex turntine (@turntineforwhat) September 21, 2026

every beautiful woman's notes app to-do list is like

- buy eggs
- find psychiatrist
— bald ann dowd (@ali_sivi) September 20, 2026

i was like “im so hungry im gonna kill someone” my husband goes “okay you have to understand that’s scary for me to hear given that im literally the only person here” yeah bitch watch out
— dana donnelly (@danadonnelly) September 24, 2026

You could be suffering through your football team losing to the Cleveland Browns and here comes Liberty Biberty to make you wanna blow your shit smoov off
— october baseball liz 🚨 (@lizaboth) September 20, 2026

I thought my chocolate brown loungewear set was really elevated and cool but my husband just asked me when I plan to take off my "poop costume."
— Cartoons Hate Her! (@CartoonsHateHer) September 21, 2026

lynnreneemaxcy/Threads

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while we're on job interview discourse one of the funniest things a candidate did when i interviewed them was walk into the room with a phone to their ear and when i tried to introduce myself they held up a finger and pointed at the phone
— meeka (@MeekyBlinders) September 22, 2026

Whomever did this to the "Boxcar Children" book covers needs to be arrested. pic.twitter.com/7PAinb4WGj
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) September 21, 2026

my dad would pull me aside after school plays and be like "you were acting circles around the rest of those bitches" and that's kinda why i am the way i am now
— tomato girl (@visceraldream) September 21, 2026

when my colleagues start asking about my weekend plans I feel like I'm talking to the police
— mommy sha (@Shamonix_) September 22, 2026

$2800, east village https://t.co/fsFtAlfmdK
— Sarah Solomon (@sarahsolfails) September 21, 2026

All these advances in technology but nobody wants to do anything about printers
— grovy (@grovymango) September 20, 2026

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