The holiday season is full of delicious treats, from hot chocolate and egg nog to peppermint bark and chestnuts roasted on an open fire. And then, of course, there’s the tradition of Christmas cookies.
Whether you prefer classic sugar cookies or seasonal gingerbread, this holiday indulgence certainly satisfies a sweet tooth. And of course, there are many opportunities for humor. We’ve rounded up 35 funny tweets about baking (and eating) Christmas cookies. Enjoy!
5-year-old: We have to eat all the Christmas cookies.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 21, 2017
Me: Why?
5: So Mom makes more Christmas cookies.
Me: *starts eating all the cookies*
My mouth is playing a losing game of Just The Tip with this Christmas tree cookie.
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) December 23, 2013
You think you cringed watching your kids decorate the Christmas tree? Wait until they help bake cookies. 😬😬😬
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 8, 2018
Me: what was your favorite part of our Christmas party? Friends? Staying up late? Knowing Christmas is soon?
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) December 17, 2017
5: nobody knew how many cookies I took from the table. I must have had 20.
It's ok to eat Christmas cookies at your desk in November as long you play Christmas music.
— 🪷Li𝕏es🇵🇸 (@AbleLikes) November 7, 2023
Me: I always get sick just before Christmas.
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) December 22, 2015
Him: Do you get flu shots?
Me: Why? Would they stop me from over-eating Christmas cookies?
Decorating Christmas cookies
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 23, 2015
7: I'm just gonna eat all this, ok? (Points to sprinkles, icing)
Me:(already squeezing frosting into my mouth)
My wife likes to torture herself every Christmas by making homemade sugar cookies with all 3 boys.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 21, 2019
It's basically her being pissed off yelling at them for 2 hours while I hide in the bonus room with alcohol.
Merry Christmas!
If all the Christmas cookies turn out like the ones my kids just made we may have to leave Santa fortune cookies.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 8, 2019
Me have question. How many Christmas cookies too many?
— Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster) December 23, 2018
That moment when you finally finish the last batch of rolled Christmas cookies and your kids lost interest 40 mins ago.
— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) December 21, 2016
"Ugh! Why do Christmas cookies take so long to make?"
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 22, 2016
-me, while placing break-n-bake dough on the cookie sheets
Has a gingerbread man cookie ever lived up to expectations? SAD! Everyone knows the Christmas cookie tradition is rigged! Congress should investigate NOW!
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) December 20, 2017
Only slightly tired of seeing Christmas cookies on Instagram that I can't eat.
— Abbi Thanksgiving Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 15, 2014
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) December 10, 2018
So today I’m baking Christmas cookies with my little munchkins! You’re gonna want to start with 5 Advil...
the only meal i know is christmas cookies. i don’t remember what i ate before this
— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) December 28, 2023
9: can we go to the store and get those christmas cookies from that little ghost boy?
— droid mom (@droidxmom) November 2, 2024
me: …
9:
me:
9:
me:
9:
me: THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY????
My Christmas eve mandate is clear: these cookies aren’t going to eat themselves.
— John Mullane (Future Dad) (@johnmullane) December 25, 2021
When making Christmas cookies turns into Game of Thrones pic.twitter.com/fNzU83Ade7
— Tyrion Lannister (@GoT_Tyrion) December 13, 2015
Found our 3yo hiding in the bathroom with a giant Tupperware of Christmas cookies and honestly I’m just mad I didn’t think of it first.
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) December 23, 2019
People are always making a big deal about Christmas cookies, but cookies should feel our love all year round.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) December 7, 2016
Making Christmas cookies with my wife and kids. Is there anything better in life?
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 1, 2013
*sneaks off to watch football*
eating all of the holiday cookies I made for gifts like... pic.twitter.com/dmwvpnxoc1
— Vanessa Dora Lavorato (@VanessaMarigold) December 9, 2019
ok i just watched The Knight Before Christmas and I need to know why they used BREAD FLOUR to make COOKIES, but ALL PURPOSE FLOUR to make BREAD https://t.co/atCGA3zAKQ
— Judith Harvey (@bakingwithjudy) November 24, 2019
being jewish around christmas is just being really drunk and trying to get people to deliver me christmas cookies
— ★mir★ (@mirahope_) December 24, 2019
Having Oreos in your house during the holidays is like taking out insurance against your homemade Christmas cookies.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) December 23, 2016
(931): dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
— TextsFromLastNight (@TFLN) December 25, 2014
I just took a DNA test turns out I’m 100% not getting my results because my blood has turned to Christmas cookie dough.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) December 26, 2019
My wife spent all afternoon baking Christmas cookies.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2017
I spent all afternoon eating them.
It's called teamwork.
How’s everyone doing on their Christmas cookie cleanse?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 27, 2019
My wife just lit her Yankee Christmas Cookie candle so I guess it’s really happening.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 9, 2021
Dear Santa,
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) December 24, 2021
I hope you like your cookies a little crispy.
Love,
A Mom who had the audacity to sit down for 3 minutes on Christmas Eve
Me saw falling leaves today. Let da countdown to Christmas cookies begin!
— Cookie Monster (@MeCookieMonster) September 29, 2022
Baking cookies, wrapping all these gifts, and cleaning everything up while bringing all the Christmas magic to life is really hard without elves.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 24, 2021
Ok We Made the Damn Christmas Cookies Can Everyone Leave Me Alone
— Stephanie Wyeld (@steph_the_twit) December 23, 2021
~my memoir re-release, 2021