Grieving adults are turning to a Muppet for comfort on social media. Is that a good thing? - Action News
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Grieving adults are turning to a Muppet for comfort on social media. Is that a good thing?

Elmos officialX social media account shared a clip last week of the Muppet character talking to actor Andrew Garfield on Sesame Street about grief, with Garfield sharing feelings about the loss of his mother. It led to an outpouring of comments, with X users sharing their own stories of loss and grief.

Sesame Street's Elmo, actor Andrew Garfield discuss grief, bringing flood of comments

A big red muppet with floppy ears, bulging eyes and an orange nose.
Elmos officialX social media account shared a clip last week of the Muppet character talking to actor Andrew Garfield on Sesame Street about grief, with Garfield sharing feelings about the loss of his mother. It led to an outpouring of comments, as users shared their stories of loss and grief. (Victoria Will/The Associated Press)

Elmo is becoming something of an online therapist for adults who have fond memories of the fuzzy red Sesame StreetMuppetfrom childhood.

Elmo's officialX social media account shared a clip last week of aconversation on the children's program between the Muppet character andactor Andrew Garfield about grief, in which Garfield shares that he's been missing his mom, who died in 2019.

The post on X triggeredan outpouring of more than 1,000 comments, with users saying they were brought to tearsand sharing their own stories of loss and grief.This echoed an Elmo post from January, when the account asked people how they were doing and was flooded with replies.

Therapists say that while the grief video and some of the ensuing interactions were touching, seeing adults pour their hearts out to a Muppet's social mediapageis a concerning sign.

In the video, Garfield, who's currently starring in the movie We Live in Time,says it's "OK to miss somebody" because it means you really loved that person, adding thathe's happy to have so many positive memories of his mother.

"Who knew I needed this?"one user shared in the comments on X, formerly Twitter."It was just the anniversary of losing my dad a few days ago and man do I miss him."

"i haven't lost my parents but i'm 5 years into the grieving process of my significant other," another wrote."I really appreciate this."

The officialSesame Street account chimed in with a linkcontainingresources to help children deal with grief.

The overwhelming responsewas reminiscent of a January post in which Elmo innocently asked,"How is everybody doing?" and sawhis comment sectionfilled with people saying they were, in fact, not doingwell at all.

"Every morning, I cannot wait to go back to sleep," one user wrotein response to the January post. "Every Monday, I cannot wait for Friday to come. Every single day and every single week for life."

More support needed in real world: therapist

Lindsey Thomson, a psychotherapist and director of national advocacy with theCanadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association, saidwhen she was growing up,Sesame Street provided a supportive, non-judgmental learning environment.

"I think for so many generations, Elmo has been this very approachable, friendly, compassionate character that just connects on such a deep level," she said.

But underneath that nostalgic comfort is thedarker truth that people still don't feel they can openup to those who are close to them or worry that if they do, they might bea burden to others, Thomsonsaid.

"I think people might be latching on to thatbecause potentially they don't have that type of support in their life currently."

When it comes to seeking professional help, Thomsonsaidmany people either can't afford it or run into excessive wait times for mental health services something she called a "chronic" issue in Canada.

She saidtaboos still exist around discussing death and grief in particular, which often leads grieving people to isolate themselves.

Expressing pain in a 'social media vacuum'

Jonathan Shedler, a psychologist and a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, said there is "something very sad" about adults reaching out to Elmo online.

It speaks to an alienation andfragmentation in society, he said, wherealot of people are suffering, and yet there doesn't seem to be roomfor these conversations in real life.

"People are expressing their pain into kind of a social media vacuum," Shedler said."There's nobody on the other end."

LISTEN | How to deal with grief:

A rise in loneliness and social isolation has been well documentedfor years, even before the COVID-19 pandemic, and a 2021 American study found that people had fewer close friendships than they used to, talked to their friends less often and relied less on their friends for personal support.

Shedler saidthisspeaks to a broader cultural movement, driven in part by social media,that has blurred the distinction between appearance and substance leadingpeople to turn to "the appearance of connection" in place of real human connection.

That can lead toparasocialonline relationships with celebrities or in the case of Elmo, a Muppet that aren't reciprocated in meaningful ways.

While the conversations in Elmo's comment section might seem sweet and reassuring, Shedler saidthe hard truth is thatloving platitudes exchanged between strangers online mean "literally nothing" in reality.

"Being told that you're loved and you're cared about by a stranger is really not the same experience as being told by somebody in your life with whom you have an ongoing and meaningful relationship that they love and care about you," he said.

"I think we get in trouble as soon as we confuse the one for the other, and we think that the parasocial relationship is somehow a stand-in for a real relationship. That's not the cure, that's the disease."