The Nirmalendran brothers: the path from violence not taken

Nixon and Nisan Nirmalendran were brothers who grew up in Regent Park.

Both did not live to see the age of 23.

• The Nirmalendran brothers: a story of love, fear and violence in Regent Park
• Listen to Mary Wiens' piece on the Nirmalendran brothers on Metro Morning

Mohsin Khan is an example of what could've been for the Nirmalendrans. He was friends with the brothers, attending the same school as them, and experienced a similar gun violence growing up. But as the brothers appeared to descend deeper into trouble, Khan moved away from it.

At the time Nixon Nirmalendran was shot in Eaton Centre, succumbing to his injuries nine days later, Khan was at Ryerson University, studying to get an industrial engineering degree.

A shared history

The Ryerson campus is only a few blocks from Regent Park. But for young men like Khan, it might as well be a different universe.

Though far away from the violence that engulfed the Nirmalendrans, Khan had a strong bond with the brothers. He went to school with Nisan, and remembers playing basketball with Nixon.

When Khan spoke about his youth with the Nirmalendrans, he talks aboutSprucecourt Public School, where the boys all went. He spoke about playing Beyblades, a game popular in the early 2000s similar to tops, with Nisan.

"We found this table and we turned it around and it was like this perfect circular object that we were able to play Beyblades," he remembered.

Flash forward years later, when Khan had received more than a dozen text messages about something happening at the food court of the Eaton Centre.

Nixon had been shot.Nisan, his younger brother, was there too.

"It was this really scary sense," he said. "These are guys we'd grown up with. And to see a tragedy at this scale to this day I still feel kind of overwhelmed. And I remember we had all gone together to console each other and ask, 'Is everybody OK?'"

Divergent paths

The fall after grade school, the friends dispersed to different junior high schools.

They all began hanging out with older boys. Khan and Nixon, still playing pick up basketball together, became friends withAlwy Al-Nadhir, a boy a couple of years older than them.

Al-Nadhir became the first of Khan's friends to be killed by a gun. The impact rippled through the group. Nixon was stunned by the shooting, which he witnessed. Al-Nadhir was shot by police during a robbery on Oct. 31, 2007. He and Nixon had a pellet gun, and were attempting to rob a man in Riverdale Park.

Nixon was 16 at the time, and charged with robbery. He was one credit shy of a high school diploma when it happened.

Khan was also in shock, and became withdrawn. He would remain for hours in his bedroom, not attending school.

"I think we're in a culture where we can't really talk about our feelings and we have to be tough," said Khan.

He remembers Nixon being stoic in the face of the trauma, not expressing an iota of emotion.

"Some people really feel they're made of stone," he said.

It was a defining moment for both boys. Nixon appeared to plunge further into a life of crime.

Khan was given a lifeline by his Ancient Civilizations teacher, Anastasia Gotsis, at Jarvis Collegiate.

"I think for me, the turning point was, after Alwy's tragic death. I had anger built up, I started lashing out. I was confused," he said. "It was only after Ms. Gotsis sat me down, bless her soul, and said you need to figure out what you're doing with your life. You're a smart guy. This is not you."

Khan still has suspicions that his Ms. Gotsis gave him better marks than he deserved to keep him involved in learning.

After high school, Khan and six friends from Regent Park began a non-profit to help their neighbourhood. Called Lead 2 Peace, the group launched in 2009 to mentor Grade 6 students at Khan and the Nirmalendran's alma mater, Sprucecourt Public School.

There were people who also threw lifelines to all the friends, including Nixon and Nisan. Khan grabbed the one he was offered.

"People sat me down and said, 'Stop being an idiot, try to figure out what you're doing!'" he remembered. "I believe every person needs a slap on their head to say, 'You know what? I believe in you.'"

At Ryerson in 2014, Khan graduated with the highest grade point average in his class and no one fudged those marks for him.

See the rest of theNirmalendran brothers series:

• DAYONE |HowtheNirmalendranfamily became engulfed in tragedy
• DAY TWO|A friend recalls a turning point in NixonNirmalendran'sshort life
• DAY THREE|A week before the shootings,NixonNirmalendrantalked about going back to school
• DAYFOUR|Christopher Husbands' path to violence: a teacher's perspective