'Heartbreaking': Sudbury long-term care homes separate wife, husband

Imagine not being able to see your loved one after 69 years of marriage.

That is what has happened to a Sudbury couple who have been placed in different nursing homes for over a year.

And the distance is very hard on them both.

Richard Levesque's parents, who've been married for 69 years, are living in separate nursing homes Finlandia Village and Falconbridge in Sudbury.

Levesque said both parents became ill in 2018.

"We haven't been able to get them reunited and my mom has progressive dementia," Levesque said. "My dad's is a stable dementia but my mom keeps losing ground."

"We're trying to get them reunited so that least they can still spend some quality time before they totally lose their memories."

Levesque said the time apart has been "heartbreaking" for the entire family.

"We owe them at least that, to get them reunited because they were never never never apart till their illnesses separated them."

"Until their illnesses they were doing gardening, my mom was taking care of the house, they'd do shopping, they'd go to church together, they did everything together."

Levesque said that when his mom was finally admitted to Finlandia, the family was told that if she refused the bed, it was another three-month wait to get another.

And there were still no guarantees she would be by her husband's side.

The family now takes turns bringing mom and dad to visit one another at different facilities.

"My dad is doing okay. My mom, her [dementia] gets worse on a weekly basis and every time I go to visit her she asks 'When am I going to see dad?' And we don't have any answers for her."

"She stays in her room, she's very lonely, she doesn't eat...it's very sad to see her in that state. It's almost like she's at the point where she wants to give up."

Even the opportunity to spend time together comes with its challenges, Levesque said.

"When my dad sees her he starts crying because they miss each other terribly," Levesque said. "It's very lonely for them, because they've never been apart."

"I'm hoping that somebody is going to be compassionate enough to finally get them back together for whatever time they have left."

Levesque said he has contacted the Northeast LHIN, who has sent him letters saying there wasn't anything that could be done about his parents' separation.

Levesque also contacted Nickel Belt MPP France Gelinas, who has been a longtime advocate for separated spouses in long term care facilities.

"All I can say is that I hope that there's somebody out there that can help us out," Levesque said. "France is doing whatever she can and hoping people are going to put it out there so that everybody knows what's going on with the system."