Rob Martin, veteran with PTSD, attends 1st Remembrance Day ceremony in years

For the first time inyears,veteranRob Martin felt well enough to attend the national Remembrance Day ceremony in Ottawa on Wednesday.

Though Nov. 11 is mainly a day ofsombre reflection, Martin said he also has "a lot of joy in my heart" thanks to several programs that helped him copewith post-traumatic stress.

"I feel alive," he said."Life is beautiful, and I'm lucky. I'm lucky."

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Martin served in the Canadian military for34 years, including two tours in Afghanistan, in 2002 and from 2008 to2009, when worked as an intelligence officer.

I was pretty mucha hollow shell, emotionally.- VeteranRob Martin

When he returned from Kandaharin 2009,he blamed himself for the deaths of 25 soldiersduring the tour.

Martin said he lost weight and stopped playing with his three young children, aged six, threeand one. But he continued to work in intelligenceas a deputy commander.

"I was pretty mucha hollow shell, emotionally," he said.

He was diagnosed with PTSD in December 2009, and was medically released from the military in September 2010.

Veterans Transition Network

For years, he felt like he was in a "very dark and ominous place," Martin said.

He took part in several programs to help heal, including the wilderness programOutward Bound and the fly fishing programProject Healing Waters.

Then last fall, he joined Veterans Transition Networkto help him cope with the trauma. His programstarted in Ottawta on Oct. 23, 2014 the day afterCpl.NathanCirillowas shot and killed at the National War Memorial.

"There was a lot of emotion just at the outset of the course," he said. "Once your emotions start to flow, you can't shut them off."

Veteran comes out of 'dark and ominous place'

9 years ago

Duration 0:28

After six years in a "very dark and ominous place," veteran Rob Martin felt well enough to attend the national Remembrance Day ceremony in Ottawa.

Martin recently got a companion dog, Thor, as part of a pilot project withinthe program. Thor accompanied him to Wednesday's Remembrance Day ceremony at the National War Memorial.

"Remembrance Day for me is thinking about my colleagues who are in that dark and ominous place, and as I do that I go and reflect back on the losses and the suffering and the families just the pain of war," he said.