'My stomach dropped': Half-sisters find each other through ancestry search

Two half-sisters got more than they bargained for when they signed up for an online genealogytest two years apart they discovered each other.

Stacey Kennedy, 45, lives in Ottawa, and Kim McFarlane, also 45, lives in Kingston, Ont.

Kennedy thought she knew everyone in her family: her mother, fatherand the brother she grew up with. But still, an advertisement forthe genealogy website AncestryDNA caught her eye, and in 2016 she signed up for a testing kit.

"You see those commercials where somebody thinks they're Italian and they turn out to be Scottish or whatever. SoI thought, well maybe [I'll]get a big surprise too," Kennedysaid.

I was just stunned. My stomach dropped shock.Stacey Kennedy

The results she got about six weeks later were nothing out of the ordinary, and Kennedy moved on with her life in Ottawa.

Meanwhile, McFarlanehad grown up knowing she had beenadopted, but she didn't know much about her heritage.

Over the years people have asked whether she's Indigenous,Greek, or evenAsian, so she signed up fora DNA testing kit in March this year, spat in the test tubeand sent it off for analysis.

A stunning discovery

In April, the same week McFarlane'sgenealogy results came back turns out she's British, Irish and part Scandinaviananother email from AncestryDNA popped into her account.

At the same time, Kennedy, who had received herresults two years earlier, got anotheremail from the company.

Both women were notified of a close family match,possibly a first cousin ontheir paternal side, and were provided with each other's names.

"I sent a private message through AncestryDNA to [McFarlane]basically asking, 'Who are you?'" Kennedy said.

As part of her quest to find out her heritage,McFarlanehad also opened up her adoption file, revealing the nameof her biological mother. That woman toldMcFarlanethe name of McFarlane'sfather, and his last namematched Kennedy's.

But their relationshipwasn't the only surprise.

Not only are they half-sisters, butMcFarlanewas born justfive months after Kennedyin 1973.

I had a really hard time wrapping my head around ... oh, yeah, I have a half-sister and her brother.Kim McFarlane

Kennedy had known that her parents had split up before she was born, gotback together sometime before her first birthdayanddivorced when she was a teenager.

But shewas shockedto learn her father had children other thanher and her brother.

"I was just stunned. My stomach dropped shock," Kennedysaid. "But then I thought through it and I'm like, I have a sister,you know? A half-sister. I've always wanted a sister.

"Forty-five years later, I find out not only do I have a half-sister, but she's pretty much my age."

It also hadn't occurred to McFarlane that she might find asibling.

"I had a really hard time wrapping my head around ... oh, yeah, I have a half-sister and her brother."

DNA test brings half-siblings together

7 years ago

Duration 0:25

Kim McFarlane and Stacey Kennedy met for the first time in June after discovering through AncestryDNA that they're half-sisters.

Big discoveries aren'trare, expert says

With the rising popularity of genealogical DNA testing, people should know beforehand that they may find out a lot more about their family than they're expecting, said Mags Gaulden, founder of Grandma's Genes, an Ottawa company specializing in genetic genealogy.

It's not always as simple as someone finding out they're Irish after thinking they were Italian, Gaulden said. She'sseen some difficult moments people learning a cousin is in fact a sibling, or that their parent isn't a biologicalrelative.

Those types of unexpected revelations can have a huge psychological effect, she said.

"Any time you come to that kind of a discovery, you have to take it very gently, very slowly, very respectfully, so that you aren't causing a rift in a family."

Gaulden said there are a lotof reasons people sometimeshideinformation, such as trying to conform to societal norms ornot wanting to divulgea pregnancy out of wedlock. And sometimes,biological parents of adopted children just don't want to be found.

'How do you bring that up?'

Kennedy and McFarlane met just four months ago, but theirbond is growing.

They talk easily,share a love of history and travel, and are making new discoveries about each other, like how Kennedy dressed up as Princess Leia for Halloween one year when she was a child, and how McFarlane loves the Star Warsfilm franchise.

But it hasn't been an easy journey. They've had to tell their families, including Kennedy's mother, who had no idea her ex-husband had fathered another child.

Kennedyhasn't yet told her father that she found McFarlane, but she expects the conversation willbe awkward.

"How do you bring that up? I'm not sure," she said.

Better warning needed, Kennedy says

Kennedywantsgenealogy websites to carry a more noticeable disclaimer warningpeople they might get a life-altering surprise.

In an emailedstatement to CBC News, AncestryDNAwrote thatits customers can choose to opt in or out of making themselves visible to potential matches, and that the company offers resources to help people with sensitive inquiries.

"Ancestry recognizes that the information we provide to our customers can be surprising and at times, life-changing," the statement from a spokesperson reads.

But Kennedy said thedisclaimer didn't prepare her for her results.

"Never in a million years did I think I had a relative out there that I never even knew about,and I think people need to know because you don't see that on the commercials," she said.

"They don't talk about people [finding] out about people that they didn't know existed."