No pay, no benefits, fussy client and it's still the best job ever

I have a new job and it is simply awesome. I work 24/7 with no pay, no benefits, and neither any kind of paid leave or sick time.

And I find my new role inexplicably rewarding.

Through this new opportunity, I have expanded my social network, gained several leadership skills like coaching and mentoring and have implemented concepts I learnedin business school like change management. If this wasn't enough, I have found that my new job environment has honed my skills in negotiation, creativity, interpersonal relations and nimbleness.

Due to the sometimes eccentric demands of my "client," and her quick-changing moods,I have achieved a new level of patience and tolerance, something that I never seemed to have before.

So what kind of job is this that requires so much work, is quite challenging, but is still very rewarding?

Well, it's thejob of being a parent and in my case, the job of being a mother. (And, yes, I am deliberately emphasizing the word "job.")

The crucial choice

Parenting starts from the minute one finds out that one has created life.

Programmed by Mother Nature to care for our young ones, a deep sense of responsibility is instilled when embarking on the journey of parenthood. Wanting to be there to watch their first step, hear their laughter and wipe away tears are primal experiences that are profoundly imprinted in our DNA.

But reality sinks in when one is forced to choose between one's instincts and one's needs.

Naturally, like many parents before me, I had to make a choice between becoming a full-time parent and having what society calls a job that is, a paying one.

This choice was made more obvious when I was constantly questioned when not if I would be returning to work.

At first, I would view it as a simple question doing no harm. I probably even asked other parents the same question.

But, as I got thinking, I realized how it undermines the work of a full-time parent.

In asking a full-time parent when they would be returning to work or alternatively, if they are on a break humanity cruelly undermines their economic and social footprint on society.

What does the research say?

Most articles researched for this piece have addressed the choice of becoming a full-time parent as a break from one's career. Failing to acknowledge the skills gained and honed through parenting directly results in delegitimizing parenting as a real job.

Although this is unfortunate, it sheds light on the systemic problem in the fabric of our society that has, for centuries, failed to acknowledge the importance of shaping an individual's life.

As a full-time parent, one juggles several roles potentially changing by the minute ranging from teacher, mentor, cook, chauffeur to health-care provider, dietitian, logistical analyst and chief executive officer! A survey on Salary.com indicatesthe job of a typical mother in the United States would pay $118,899! Despite this, the time chosen to tend to a child is perceived as a break from one's career and, regrettably, not regarded as a "real job" that could be highlighted on a resum.

The skills acquired through the role of a parent and the role of a childcare provider, either through gainful employment or volunteering, are comparable. Both involve working with children and tending to their physical and emotional needs. Unfortunately, only skills acquired through paid employment and, at times, volunteering can be legitimized on a resum.

This fact was further bolstered when a video that American Greetings produced in 2014 for Mother's Day went viral with 27 million views and counting and succinctly captured popular opinions on full-time parenting.

Rewarding full-time parents

Despite such issues around full-time parenting, some countries like Norway have chosen to progressively reward the choice of caring for one's children. In 1998, the Norwegian government introduced a programcalled Cash-for-Care that (twodecades later) continues to provide monetary incentives to individuals who choose to embrace full-time parenting with children below the age of three.

A Statistics Norway study published in 2013 investigated the impact of long-term educational outcomes of the older sibling due to the presence of a full-time parent who availed of this benefit for their younger child. The study concluded that a significant positive treatment effect was found on the older siblings' 10th grade GPA, which can be attributed to a parent spending quality time with the children.

It also indicated that parental care cannot be easily substituted. Long-term studies and researchsuch as thisclearly depict the longstanding impacts of quality parental care.

The current conversation primarily revolves around engaging parents specifically, new mothers in the workforce after having children. According to a 2017 Statistics Canada report called Women and Paid Work,women's careers are interrupted more frequently and for longer durations.

Further, women still tend to carry the bulk of the load for the smooth functioning of a home.

Hence, logically, a major step towards decreasing the number of career interruptions, which would lead to the integration of full-time parents into the (traditional) workforce, is recognizing the skills they have gained through their job as parents.

The fear of becoming obsolete and irrelevant fuels the requirement for retraining and re-education, further driving home the lack of recognition for the skills acquired while "on a break" tending to one's child. The choice to be a full-time parent or to opt for full-time daycare is exactly that a choice. By neglecting the plethora of professional skills gained as a full-time parent, isn't the choice stripped away?

What I have been doing

So, how can we, as a society, cause a seismic systemic shift in this conversation? Here are a few, small but impactfulthings that I have begun to incorporate in my life hoping to turn the tides:

Let's talk:Speak to anyone and everyone about full-time parenting as a legitimate job even though you may be laughed at or not taken seriously. Starting a conversationis the beginning of change. When I meet new parents, I consciously ask them if they are "working as full-time parents" or have a different nature of engagement. Understand that Rome was not built in a day. Society will not change overnight but every conversation adds to the change.

If you are a full-time parent, OWN IT: Legitimize your own role in your own words. Be proud of the fact that your choices are meaningfully moulding your child into an empowered citizen and directly affecting the future. Understand that you will have to pat your own back (and possibly, toot your own horn, too!).

Skills on your resum:If you are looking to accept a different role, highlight the gamut of skills you have acquired as the primary caregiver of your child on your resum. Have frank conversations with your prospective employer firmly, but politely, stating how it was more a change in role than a "break from your career."

Food for thought: When employers consider the skills gained as a childcare provider or a nanny as enriching experience on a resum, shouldn't they accept the same skills that are acquired while caring for one's child?

Lessjudgment, more acceptance: Do not be judgmental. Whether working as full-time parent or working full-time in a different role, every individual is free to choose what is best for them and their family. What works for one may not for another.

Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs in the universe. Surrounded by high criticism and low praise, it is a job carried out of pure passion, love and dedication.

There is a long way to go before we recognize the importance and value of a full-time parent.

A society that supports parenthood and a world where parents are recognized for their effort and hard work is a great legacy to leave behind for future generations, isn't it?

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