That's a sin (tax) for you: Here are some platform planks to liven up a dull election

The following is a columnby Edward Riche, a playwright and novelist. For more information about CBC's Opinion section, please see the FAQ.

Heavens but the election has been a tedious affair.

There have been no truly bold policy initiatives. There are no star candidates (even the party leaders lack star power). There are no memorable slogans, there has been no witty repartee back and forth. The one good ad (from Ches Crosbie) was a knock-off of an old American spot.

Smelling a solid majority, if not a landslide, the Liberal brain trust looks to have instructed their candidates to protect the lead by keeping their red-capped heads down, parking their principles, embracing opportunism and clamming up.Even the Liberal's loony west coast wing has behaved (perhaps Eddie Joyce was their fighting spirit).

The Tories will wear the Muskrat Falls fiasco for a generation so the rank and file can't get motivated to rally behind their charisma-challenged leader.There was a way to sell Ches Crosbie but the party lacked the will to find it.Andrew Furey has the entire national Liberal family behind him.One gets a sense that Ches and a small circle are doing it all by themselves.

If the Liberals and the Tories are traditionally networks of cronyism, the NDP remains a suite of grievances.The New Democrats' stand on minimum wage is about decency, respect for human dignity and is the only measure addressing the demographic crisis. But if they have a larger social democratic program for Newfoundland and Labrador few have heard it. Ever. Until they communicate an alternative vision they will remain the third party.

The lie that the Corner Brook Hospital was getting a PETscanner should have generated, if not fireworks, at least a few sparks, but everyone in the running joined in the fib.(Let me repeat that: everyone promising Corner Brook a PETscanner is lying and knows it.)

Talkin' 'bout bankruptcy

Crosbie's declaration of provincial bankruptcy might have caused a stir if it was taken seriously. The most interesting thing about crying "Skint!"is that it costs less politically than saying aloud that cuts are coming.

On many things all in the race agree: we have to attract and retain young people, the kids need to code, the potential for the tourism industry has not been fully exploited.

For a place with such a small population we have unusually strong technology and arts and entertainment sectors that should be fostered.Spending on health care has metastasized and will soon kill the host unless there is revolutionary change to the system.General agreement on the issues, but no innovative approaches to our problems.Telling us what we know is boring.

Take a plank, please

Soin the interest of amusement alone, let me provide a few free-for-the-taking platform planks to liven up this hitherto numbing contest.

Defund the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary. Like all the other calls to "defund the police" this really means reallocating resources away from policing toward the root causes of much crime,moving away from knocking heads to intervention and prevention, more psychiatric nurses and social workers, fewer boys and girls in blue.

If news stories these past few years are any indication, there are as many divas, ninnies and goons on the force as there are good cops. They might do well to shed some payroll in a housecleaning.

Also consider eliminating the mounted unit and selling the horses for meat.Kidding.Love the police mounts, extravagance or not.

Sin tax to cure what ails us

Tax sugar and salt in processed food.We are an unhealthy bunch; fat and diabetic, gouty.We keep being told there is little room to increase taxes.

Kill several birds and lose a few stone with a sin tax on sweetening and sodium. It should discourage consumption and the revenue can go against the cost to the health-care system.

Before you say this is a killjoy that denies people their little comforts, that same argument can be made against the massive levy on booze and darts. Given our consumption of Pipsay, salt meat and Tim's, a penny-per-gram tariff on salt and sugar should bring in around 160 boobabazillion dollars in revenue.

The Liberal candidate for Windsor Lake tried to score some points by demanding Crosbie, on behalf of the Newfoundland and Labrador Progressive Conservative Party, apologize for the Muskrat Falls project.It was posturing.

Mr. Crosbie could as easily demand the Liberal Party apologize for the bungled Upper Churchill contract.Besides, it is about time we admitted that when Muskrat was first proposed, for less than $6 billion, most of us, without deep consideration, supported it.

That things soon went so horribly wrong can be hung on a few senior Nalcor officials and their dupes and enablers in government.

Muskrat Falls? Charge!

A certain political winner then would be a promise that charges ofbreach of trustwould be brought against the known villains of the sordid tale. That would mean busting friends and family of both Liberal and PC hacks so you can understand why they mightn't have the stomach for it.

It seems to be an obvious pitch for the NDP but they specialize in missing routes to victory.

St. John's city council loves blaming its outdated, dysfunctional statutory relationship with the province for all kinds of shortcomings.

The northeast Avalon contain almost half the province's population.There are at least 12 electoral districts that can be considered within the greater St. John's region (and that means you too, Mount Pearl).

The deputy mayor is on the ballot in Mount Scio, retread councillor Shawn Skinner helms the PC campaign. Isn't it the right election to consider modernizing the relationship of the capital city with the province?

It's fun and easy to hate the townies, to want to deny them nice things,but if the capital city is without 21st-century public transit and passable sidewalks, any immigration strategy is for nought. This is the moment for city councillors to make the matter an election issue and for the winners of the urban, suburban and exurban districts to commit to joining an all party St. John's caucus.

If you believe our politics have deteriorated to the state that the prospect of bold ideas being presented in an election is the realm of comedy, if you are poisoned by the many bozos and pension hounds in the running, if you are in despair about our democracy vote.

Vote for lesser of the evils if you have to, vote for the candidate who ran on local concerns, vote for the youngest person on the ballot, vote for a troublemaker.Vote, if not for a party or a program you deeply believe in, vote to tell them you are watching.

You would be wise to pay close attention because what's coming, whoever wins, isn't pleasant.

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