Nurse drives from B.C. to visit dying mother in Saint John, ends up in isolation instead

With her mother dying of breast cancer, nurse Tammy Keleher wanted to be by her side to offer care and comfort in her mother's final days.

So, on March 21, in the midst of a global pandemic, Keleher jumped into her Jeep in Prince George, B.C., and headed for her childhood home of Saint John.

With four solid days on the road, she had plenty of time to envision her reunion with her mother and the days they would spend together in the palliative care unit at the Saint John Regional Hospital.

Keleher said she wanted to put her 72-year-old mother, Laura Judith Gray, "at the centre of everything."

"I just want to be fully dedicated to my mother and do whatever I could do to help her as her daughter and as a nurse," she said.

I want to be able to be with my mother 24/7 until she takes her last breath.- Tammy Keleher

During her cross-country journey, however, her mother took a turn for the worse. She stopped eating, didn't want visitorsand was beginning to show signs of depression.

It was a helpless feeling for Keleher.

"And I just thought, 'Oh my heavens, I have to reach her and make sure she knows how amazing she has been.'"

The thoughts of being there for her mother helped get her through the long drive.

"I really wanted to give my mother reassurance that, 'Mom, I'll be there for you, and I won't leave your side. I'm going to be there 24/7.'"

But as Keleher approached, the New Brunswick government ordered everyone entering the province must self-isolate for 14 days.

Keleher was heart-broken and set about trying to see her mother. She contacted health officials and even wrote an email to Health Minister Ted Flemming.

She told him, "I want to be able to be with my mother 24/7 until she takes her last breath."

She said, "As a nurse, I am expected to take care of everyone else and I hope and pray I can do the same as a daughter of a mother who needs her more than ever. I need her soul to rest easy as she transitions after life."

Someone from the government's "COVID-19 Public Inquiries Team" replied to say that the rules are in place to stop the spread of the virus and, "I trust given your healthcare background you can understand why these difficult decisions must be made."

It took her a few days, but she's finally come around.

"I've got to know when a battle is worth fighting and when it's not," she said. "I need to put my energy where it is needed."

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And that's with her mother, said Keleher. She's now trying to make the best of a difficult situation.

So, with the help of her twin sister and some nurses, she has FaceTimed with her mother and even had some "parking lot therapy," where the nurses have been able to get her mother into the window of her hospital room to see Keleher in the parking lot on a cellphone. Her mother waved a white facecloth, while Keleher jumped around waving her arms.

While she's disappointed that she likely won't get to see her mother in person before she dies, she hopes that "shedding light" on the issue will help someone else.

"I don't get the opportunity to see my mom," she said. "I want somebody else to get the opportunity to see their mom because this isn't going away."

Although she's not certain what the answer is, she hopes officials can figure out a way for loved ones to say goodbye in person.