How COVID-19 has forged new friendships

Candice Makhan never accepts Facebook friends she doesn't know. Forsome reason, she decided to accept a random request from Ruth Castellanos.

Bothgot sick in the spring andjoined a Facebook support group for those withlingering COVID-like symptoms. So Castellanos reached out and started sharing. Turns out neither tested positive for the virus, though they've stillbeen able to bondover the experience,swapping support and storiesof similar symptoms they're still having.

"At least something positive came out of it," said Castellanos, who lives in Flamborough, Ont., near Hamilton.

Making new friends seems unlikelyright now, with thepleas to stay home and apart. But the pandemichas forgednew friendships like this one that probablywouldn't have happened otherwise.

Both Makhan and Castellanosare still off work, shuttling between specialist appointments and uncertain what's going on with their bodies. Makhan says it meansa lot to have someonewho understands what she's going through. She knows family and friends mean well, but Castellanosjust gets her, she says.

"We can share a lot of experiences that are very common. Some frustrations, some disappointments, some excitements," she said.

It's a slow-burning friendship. They've mostlymessagedabout COVID-19butare gradually learningmore about each other's personal lives theirfamilies, how they ended up where they are, their hopes for the future.

"I don't think that once we're betterthis [the friendship] is going to end I've made a really good friend here," saidCastellanos. "We're just really listening to one another and helping each other out."

Other COVID friendshipshave beensparkedout of necessity. When the pandemic started, Dr. Tony Stone reached out to Dr. Robert Kyle about starting a response table, to co-ordinate community efforts.

The men knew of one another. Kyle is Durham Region's medical health officer while Stone is a family doctor and chief of staff at Lakeridge Health, which runs several hospitals. But they didn't know each well. Kyle blames the "silos" among health-care professionals.

But the two clicked and have been working closely ever since, trying to break down those silos.

"There are a lot of saints out there that are giving it their all and Tony is certainly one of those," said Kyle.

They were brought even closer together dealing with Orchard Villa, the worst-hit long-term care home in the province, where the military was sent in and 70 residents died during the virus' first wave.

Kyle credits their new friendship for being able to send Stone's team in to temporarily manage the facility.

"It's always a blessing when you meet someone with shared values, shared passions and a common commitment," he said.

They are eager for the day when they can talk about more than just COVID-19 and even hang out together in person, perhaps for one of Kyle's morning runs he runs eight kilometres every day.

"I just got to get a bit more fit so I can keep up with him," said Stone.

LISTEN | Pandemic brings new friends together:

Because COVID-19 is at the crux of these new friendships, it gives them someone they can freely talkwith about the virus so their families don't have to hear about it all the time.

New friends Shalu Bains and epidemiologist Laura Rosella will sneak calls about it late at night. They're in touchevery single day.

"Definitely the first text [of the day] is to Laura. The last text of the night is to Laura," said Bains, a vice-president atTrillium Health Partners, which has hospitals in Ontario's hard-hit Peel Region and Etobicoke.

"Sometimes ...[it's] very work related. And sometimes it will be a head-exploding emoji," addedRosella, an associate professor at the University of Toronto.

Like Stone and Kyle, they were familiar with each other before the pandemic. When it started,Bains reached out to Rosellato discuss hospital data andanalytics. Now, they talk about everything.

Both have a young child around the same age and say they feel guilty about not getting them to bed earlier.They recently learned they both live in Mississauga, only about 10 minutes away from each other.

"You need these types of relationships to build a resiliency, 'cause it's not going away anytime soon," said Bains."We really developed trust and respect and confidence for each other."

For now, it remains a virtual friendship,growing over text, phone calls, on Zoom. They often think about what will happen when they finally get to meet together in person, as friends.

"You're definitely getting a big hug," said Rosella."I'm a big hugger."