Len Rhodes shares story of domestic abuse to raise awareness

The CEO and president of the Edmonton Eskimos is sharing his family's history of domestic abuse in the hopes that it will help prevent others from becoming victims.

Today, Len Rhodes, 51, is a powerful man. Butas a child, he had trouble falling asleep at night. Instead, he'd lie awake in his bed in his family's basement suite and worry what his father was doing to his mother.

When sober, his father was "a great man" who told him not to hurt women, Rhodes said. But when he drank, he became violent and verbally abusive.

"He was really a Jekyll and Hyde situation," said Rhodes. "Thank God the last 10 or 11 years before he died he had completely stopped drinking."

For years, Rhodes didn't tell anyone not even his closest friends about the abuse.

"When was a kid, I didn't talk about it. There was really no support that I knew of. My own teachers had no idea what I was going through and my best friends had no idea," he said.

"My mom and sisters have accused me of basically not talking about it and pretending that it never occurred."

But then two years ago, he went for a ride-along with Edmonton police. In the course of the evening, they responded to two calls of domestic abuse, which brought the memories rushing back for Rhodes.

"It all came back the emotional intensity just flashed back," he said. "AndI just started thinking: 'This is not acceptable.' "

"I carried that load on my shoulders for 51 years and, for my own health, I thought it's time I do something about it, to talk about it."

Am I going to be a good guy or a bad guy?

Now, Rhodes, a longtime supporter of the Alberta Council of Women's Shelters, hopes to use his own high profile to help ensure no other children or families experienced what he did.

Today, there is more support available, he said.

"If there is a child that is living through that and their mother is being harmed by their dad, please speak out. Go see a guidance counsellor, go see a teacher, encourage your mom to go to a shelter."

However, shelters and support after the fact aren't enough, Rhodes said.

"When you end up in a shelter, the damage is already inflicted. We've got to change the behaviours, the thinking and influence those young men, especially, that are still on ... the cusp of deciding 'Am I going to be a good guy or a bad guy?' "

In the past, several Edmonton Eskimo players have taken part in the ACWS' Leading Change program, in which they mentor young men and discuss domestic abuse.

This year, the program did not receive the funding it needed to continue.

Rhodes hopes that by sharing his own story, someone will donate the necessary funds.

"We're seeking $100,000 so that the Eskimos can connect with ACWS to send more players into schools, junior football teams and talking to young men to change those patterns."